Meditation is Not a Four Letter Word!

Meditation is Not a Four Letter Word

In fact it’s worse than a four letter word. It’s more than twice as bad! It’s too difficult. It’s meant for non-intelligent people. It’s an excuse for thoughtless brains. And, this just has to be said… people who claim to meditate are lying.

Okay, sometimes it’s easier to move forward once we get all the preconceived notions out of our mind. Honor the thoughts by stating them aloud and then moving on. “Thank you for speaking up, lil Miss Pessimism. Now if the class may continue…” We, as humans, have learned to communicate by words. We define the meaning of each individual word and often times, we associate strong feelings about particular words. (We have a word for those feelings too. They are called adjectives.) What we don’t understand is that those feelings are not facts. Huh? What does that mean? For instance ask both a young woman preparing to walk down the aisle and, a woman going through a bitter divorce, her feelings about marriage. Our feelings about situations, experiences, words, etc are very subjective and individual. Somewhere along the line, you developed feelings about meditation and because that feeling is not offering anything of benefit to you, it’s time to let it go.

Here is an exercise to help you let go of those negative (“negative” meaning nothing more than non-beneficial) thoughts. You can use this exercise for a variety of areas of your life as well. Take a piece of paper and down the left side of the paper, write down each negative thought you have about meditation. Then next to each of those thoughts, down the right side, write the opposing positive statement. When you are focusing on the negative thoughts, be non-judgmental. Do not judge yourself for these thoughts. In fact, look for and find the humor in them, allowing yourself to laugh openly. Laughter is an amazing tool when trying to break thought patters, habits… Your list might look something like this:

I can’t meditate I meditate easily.

I do not have time to meditate. I have plenty of time to meditate.

I can’t quiet my brain. I easily still my thoughts.

My breathing is unsteady. My breathing is just perfect for meditation.

Meditation is scary. Meditation brings me joy.

You get the point. Take the time to examine and write down all thoughts that might be preventing you from moving forward with meditation. Be honest. Promise yourself that you will actively attempt to disregard the negative thoughts and replace them with your new thoughts. Each time an old thought bubbles up, let it but, then offer your new thought. Just this simple act of doing something to counteract your predisposed notions, can help immensely.

Now, let’s get to the crux of most people’s opposition to meditating. The #1 biggest excuse given (I’ve used it myself for years) is the seeming impossibility to be thought free. I mean, isn’t the goal of meditation to be thoughtless? Here are my usual goals for meditation, yours might be different:

· To Calm Myself
· To Reflect on a Situation or Question
· To Achieve an Altered State
· To Look Inward
· To Communicate with Spirit via my Higher Self
· To Become Fully Present

To be effective in any of my goals, I do need to quiet myself. Now, ask anyone who knows me, the words “quiet” and “Michelle” are rarely used in the same sentence. My brain is forever going and usually with just random subject jumping information. How can I empty my brain?
How do you empty the trash? By acknowledging that it is there, paying attention to it and then letting it go. Ask any mother and she’ll tell you that as soon as she empties the trash, more just shows up. It takes practice and dedication to keep your brain quiet for any extended amount of time. We may not realize it but there are times in each day where we are thought free. These moments go by without any fanfare or acknowledgement but, these moments to exist. The trick is to learn how to harness those moments and turn them into minutes. Here are some steps or actions that you can do to help quiet your brain;

Choose a quiet, calming space. You need not have a separate room but if choosing a space within a space, try to separate it by its intended use. For instance, if you are using a chair that is in your bedroom, turn the chair so that it faces away from the bed. Maybe put a small table next to the chair. As you set up your space, fill it with love and intent. See yourself here having successful meditation sessions. See yourself relaxed and calm in the chair. You may be inclined to put things on your table that make you calm or happy. This is fine, although I would suggest that you keep photos of people out of this space. This is about and for you and your goal is to minimize thoughts. Maybe you have a favorite soft blanket you want to drape on the chair. Maybe you like candles and incense and you want those near you. Make this your place but be minimal in your approach. Create a distraction free environment and honor it by not placing dirty clothes, agenda books, bills, etc in this space ever.

Choose a time. When choosing a time, make sure that the risk of being interrupted is minimal. Turn the ringers off on your phone. Shut your door. Choose a time that you will not be too sleepy. Don’t set yourself up either by choosing a time in the middle of your work day. Although you can meditate any time you want, it is best in the beginning to be regular about your times. Also, be realistic in the beginning. Your goal may be to meditate daily but you can start with once or twice a week. Honor yourself by showing up for your appointment. If you must reschedule with yourself, set a new time immediately and be honest with yourself in your reason for cancelling.

Choose duration. We have all heard of people who meditate for hours. That may even be your goal. In the beginning, however, I would suggest you choose something more within reach. Say, one minute. One minute??? Yes, one minute. Get good at one minute than increase it to two, then to three………..

Acknowledge the thoughts that jump in. Imagine these thoughts as thought bubbles, like in cartoons. See the thought. Say thank you to it and see it pop or float away. Do this with each thought. Thoughts are like spoiled children demanding attention. So, pay attention and send them on their way.

Be productive in thought. Give your brain something to focus on. Very low non-lyrical music works well. Focus on the sound from one instrument. Feel the vibration of it. Imagine the notes rising and falling. Can you find a beat that matches your breathing or your heart rate? Maybe music does little for you. If that’s the case, imagine a scene. You are in charge so make it anywhere. Maybe it’s a place you’ve visited or maybe only dreamed of. Be fully present in the scene. Use all your senses. Feel the sun on your skin, the breeze from the west… Smell the rain that just came through, the salt water, the flowers… See the colors. Use natural things when seeing the colors. (Yellow like a lemon rather than yellow like the paint in my kitchen). Hear the sounds of leaves blowing, the surf crashing. You may even hear a voice.

Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the effort you put in. Literally say “Good job” to yourself. Notice how you feel. Later, look back at your session and see if there is anything you would like to change – add, eliminate, etc. If you make a change and it doesn’t work, no problem. Simply adjust again.

Find like minded friends. Join a group where you can meet like-minded people. In a remote location? There are so many online networks with a spiritual purpose, that you should never feel alone. Not ready for that? That’s okay. Read. We often feel close to the authors of our favorite books and feel that they are our friends. One book I love is The Red Book by Sera Beak. If you are a no-nonsense woman with an appreciation of humor and you aren’t afraid to embrace your full femininity read The Red Book. At the back of the book, Sera offers countless recommendations of books on a variety of topics (including vibrators!!)

Meditation is personal. Do what suits you best. Do not compare yourself to others (who, truly you have no real idea about their own feelings of success) and hold yourself to some crazy standard. The fact that you are trying is to be commended. Pat yourself on the back for even reading this article. In reading this article though, know that these are reccomendations. Take what works and leave the rest.

Friends, remember everything is a process. We are all learning and growing and evolving. Be patient. Anything worthwhile is worth waiting for. There is so much to be gained from acquiring the ability to meditate. I promise you will be amazed.

And, just so you know, I have to work at meditation too. I have to pop an unbelievable amount of thought bubbles! But, I have had enough success to motivate me to keep working at it.

Cheers!